Why I Love Mistakes

I know that sounds strange. Bear with me.

Most of us were taught that mistakes are something to avoid, minimize, or be ashamed of. That getting it wrong means something about who we are. That if you mess up enough times, you're just... not cut out for it.

I used to believe that too. And it kept me stuck for a long time.

But here's what I've learned — both from my own experience and from working with clients — mistakes aren't the problem. They're the map.

The Homework That Doesn't Get Done

Here's how my work with clients usually goes: We start with the practical stuff. I help them build a plan — job search strategies, income streams, daily structures. Real, actionable homework. Things that, on paper, make complete sense.

And then they go do the homework. Or they try to.

Sometimes they come back having done everything. Great! We keep building. But often — and this is where it gets interesting — they come back having done nothing. Or half of something. Or they started and then stopped at a very specific point and couldn't explain why.

A traditional coach might call this resistance. Might push harder. Might add more accountability or more structure.

I call it a gift.

The Freeze Is Never Random

When someone gets stuck at a specific point — when they can write the resume but can't send it, when they can research the business idea but can't make the first call, when they can plan the budget but can't look at their bank account — that's not random.

That freeze is pointing directly at something that needs attention. A fear of rejection. A belief that they'll fail again like they did before. A memory of being told they weren't good enough. A pattern of self-sabotage that's been running quietly in the background for years.

The mistake — the thing they didn't do, the place they got stuck — is showing us exactly where to look.

You can't fix what you can't see. And the freeze makes it visible.

What We Do With It

Once we find the freeze — once we identify the exact spot where things fell apart — we get curious about it instead of critical. Not "why didn't you do this?" but "what happened when you tried? What did it feel like? What were you thinking right before you stopped?"

Almost always, something surfaces. A memory. A fear. A voice that sounds a lot like someone from the past. And that's where the real work begins — using EFT, awareness techniques, and sometimes just honest conversation to gently process what's been sitting there, blocking the path.

And then we try the homework again. And usually — not always, but usually — it goes differently. Because the block has shifted. The thing that was in the way has been acknowledged, felt, and released enough to stop running the show.

So No, I Don't See Mistakes as Failures

I see them as the most honest feedback you'll ever get. Your nervous system, your subconscious, your body — they're all trying to tell you something. The mistake is just the message.

When a client comes back and says "I didn't do the thing," I don't feel disappointed. I feel like we just found the next piece of the puzzle. Because now we know where to look. Now we know what needs to heal before the action can happen.

That's why I love mistakes. Not because failing is fun — it's not. But because every freeze, every stumble, every "I don't know why I couldn't just do it" is an arrow pointing toward something real. Something that, once addressed, opens up a path that was blocked before.

You're not failing. You're finding the freeze. And that's exactly where we need to be.